Iona Beach, May
I finally stopped working overnights, Saturday morning was my last shift at the grocery store. I maybe left a little early, we finished the delivery and I wanted to come home. I took a little nap, but woke myself up so we could drive out to Iona Beach. I’d rode my bike (for a change) earlier in the week out to Iona and found out that really good signage, directional walking lanes and other measures had been put into place so that social distancing, the outdoors and exercise could mingle a little bit over the quarantine period.
I wanted to go out specifically so I could hang outside with Angela (I haven’t been with her during daylight in a month and a half) and also so we could look at eagles and herons. Weather that we could wear shorts was a welcome bonus, barefeet in warm shallow waters was icing on this pop-tart. I found myself thinking, how I usually do, about the camera gear I’d still like in my repertoire, being specific today, a teleconverter and a smaller point and shoot-ish camera. I’m trying not to get hung up on the lack of things I feel for, using what I have. But I’m being realistic about what I want and need to make better versions of the kinds of images I want to make.
Sunday morning, and I’m up at 4:30, early, trying to set a new habit. Trying to wake up early enough that I can do some self-work in the mornings before my new job. A friend hooked me up with a opportunity with a landscaping business over the next few months of unrolling society and the economy. I want to get back on set, the film set, stills sets (assisting and shooting) and earning my money through the creative avenues I have. It’s still a big unknown, when anyone is going to be returning to work, let alone industries that rely on many people in enclosed spaces, free flow of talent across the border.
I’m looking forward to this morning. I’m heading out on my bicycle. I’ve only rode three times in the last month. That’s three times at all. I used to discount my commuting rides as not-riding, as if they didn’t count towards training, fun and my mental well being. But since I became a bike messenger in 2008, then a bike racer in 2013, I’ve rode my bike nearly everyday for 12 years straight. I’m feeling anxious at times about my lack of riding, to the point where some days instead of anticipation to ride I’m nervous, filled with self-doubt, anxious about getting a cold (afraid for job security during COVID times) if I ride too much or too hard. I’ve also felt a mix of feelings about my responsibilities as a cyclist. I do believe we should be staying home as much as we can. I even feel guilty about my excursion to Iona yesterday. But exercise and well being are still important. All I know is I need to ride my bicycle. Both for my physical and mental health, hopefully a new work scenario where I’m working hours that mean I can ride solo during daylight hours will help my brain.